Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Marvin of The Scheme Given Sun Make Over.

Drug dealer and career criminal Marvin Baird has received a "James Bond" make over by the Sun newspaper.


Returning to his house in On Thank, Marvin's spokeswoman, Wendy Bungalow, commented "While it's true that Marvin was a drug addict he doesn't take drugs any more.   Or any less."   Asked if it was true that Marvin and his gang beat up the new tenants Wendy Bungalow denied Marvin was involved "It's completely untrue.   Marvin was receiving his new teeth at the time."  

 
Spokeswoman for East Ayrshire Council, Wendy Bungalow, told us "East Ayrshire Council hope that the BBC will be able to show the additional two programs soon.   Just as soon as Kilmarnock Sheriff Court jail those preventing the screening.   Unfortunately, as soon as one is jailed another is arrested.   But I've got DVDs if you're interested?"

Killie shaken and stirred by Marvin’s James Bond makeover

Man With The Golden Gums

Sunday, 28 November 2010

Michelle Manus to switch on Kilmarnock Christmas Lights 2010

Michelle McManus is to switch on Kilmarnock Christmas Lights on Sunday 28th. 2010.   Much has been already said about East Ayrshire council, a council who are facing various cuts, paying a fee of £ 4,000 to Michelle.   Apparently another £ 1,500 is being paid out to a couple of X Factor rejects too.

McManus's spokeswoman, Wendy Bungalow, said "For Michelle it's not about the money.   No, it's because Michelle just had to say 'Aye to a Killie pie'.   It was the offer of a year's free pies which attracted Michelle to Kilmarnock.   Once she'd put Kilmarnock in to her Sat Nav and found Kilmarnock she was really looking forward to all those pies".

Asked if Michelle was looking forward to switching on the lights Wendy Bungalow told us "oh yes, after she's tried a Killie Pie, sure."

Council’s celebrity festive spend under fire

The Killie Pie