An Idea to the Stupid East Ayrshire Council.

Fake shop fronts.   It's not a new idea, it's been tried before in England, but it brightens up a dull shopping street by giving the illusion of an occupied store.   It won't solve Ayrshire's problems, but it could help.   With about half the shops boarded up John Finnie Street certainly could do with something to brighten up Kilmarnock.

Wendy Bungalow, spokespersons for East Ayrshire Council, told is "it's simply not something we're going to consider.   They way to brighten up Kilmarnock town centre is with the new slate grey paving in all the back streets between John Finnie Street and King Street.   It's paving that shoppers want, and paving we'll give them! That's why we're reducing the number of parking spaces, so that our visitors can enjoy our paving to the full."

Well, we did try.

Dumbarton uses fake shop fronts to beat downturn - BBC News

4 Day School Week.

North Ayrshire Council, not to be outdone by the stupidity of East Ayrshire Council, have suggested reducing the school week from five to four days.   Nothing is said how working parents are expected to care for their children on fifth day.   The reason?   To save money.   The cost?   Can you afford a day off work!

North Ayrshire Council spokesperson Wendy Bungalow told us "very few people in North Ayrshire work so reducing the school week isn't going to have any impact.   North Ayrshire has one of the lowest employment records in Scotland, most are off on the sick, if not registered unemployable already."

Asked what about the few parents who do work Wendy told us "they don't work in North Ayrshire, so they can take their children with them.   They really are being selfish and should give up their jobs to look after their children."

North Ayrshire Council may examine four-day school week

Camera Shop Closes to Allow Kilmarnock Regeneration.

East Ayrshire Council's Kilmarnock town regeneration has finally put the nail in the coffin of a local business icon: Hector McDonald Camera House.   With the streets around the store dug up, and access for customers almost impossible, it starved them of the vital Christmas custom.

Spokeswoman of Kilmarnock Regeneration, Wendy Bungalow, told is "This is terrific news for the regeneration of Kilmarnock.   That store had been in Kilmarnock for 100 years and it's that type of business we need to regenerate.   With another empty store it gives anybody who wants to move in to Kilmarnock more choice of where to set up business."

We asked if local business would be compensated for the loss of business "No, absolutely not.   We'll be putting their rates up to pay for all the extra paving we've put in!   All of that costs money, we need to get it back somehow."

Wendy continued "I don't know why you'd shop in Kilmarnock anyway, Silverburn is much warmer and they've got Starbucks."

Kilmarnock Regeneration
Hector McDonald
Camera shop closure signals end of an era - Kilmarnock Standard
Shopping Kilmarnock

John Bryson, East Ayrshire’s head of road and transportation, has boasted that they’ll £ 40,000 from parking fines when the council take over parking enforcement from the police.

We spoke to Wendy Bungalow, council spokes person, about the changes.   “It’s not true that Kilmarnock is the worst area for parking.   The council gave me a space!”   We asked why EAC is anti-car “we’re not, we simply wish that you take your business elsewhere.   Go to Silverburn, that’s where I shop.   Much better than Kilmarnock town centre!   And the parking is free.”

Council to Make Money From Parking Fines - Kilmarnock.

No More School Bus.

School busses for hundreds of pupils of James Hamilton Academy are to be scrapped by the bankrupt East Ayrshire Council is a cash saving exercise.   Worst affected are those from the Wardneuk and the posh Southcraigs areas of Kilmarnock.   A quick check of Google and it’s a 3.4 mile walk from Southcraig to the school.

Asked why school pupils would be expected to walk nearly 7 miles per day, Wendy Bungalow the East Ayrshire Spokesperson told us “As the crow fly’s it’s only 6 miles per day.   We at East Ayrshire want to promote healthy living.   Walking will help with pupil fitness.”

Asked about if this was sensible in the middle of winter with heavy rain or even icy streets “We’re not worried about wet pupils as they’ll dry off during the day.   For the icy streets they just need to put their skates on.”

We at this blog will be driving our children to school.

Save our School Bus - Kilmarnock Standard

Kilmarnock Has the Best Potholes!

Kilmarnock has been found to be a national leader in potholes.   Kilmarnock has, according to an AA survey, some of the worst potholes.

Spokes person for East Ayrshire Council, Wendy Bungalow, told us "it's excellent news that the AA has recognised as a national leader in potholes.   The collection is building daily, and we intend to win this award again next year too.   Competition will be stiff, but I'm sure EAC will rise to the challenge!"

Sky News - Kilmarnock Potholes

The Scheme to return to the BBC.

Showing some of the most prosperous areas of Kilmarnock with the hardest working people of Kilmarnock, The Scheme has been an international hit TV series.   Showing Ice Road Truckers and those from Deadliest Catch what hard work is, Marvin and co will return to our TV screens soon.

Spokes person for East Ayrshire Council, Wendy Bungalow, told us "this is a great series for not only Kilmarnock but the whole of East Ayrshire.  The Scheme is on everybody's lips and now Kilmarnock really is on the map.   People will want to visit and during the summer months we'll be running a tour bus around the sights of the Scheme.   We expect millions of tourist to flock to Kilmarnock, and hope that Marvin will be able to break his busy schedule to welcome everybody."

Kilmarnock Standard - The Scheme to return